The Tale of The Very Hungry Sausages

This week at Pudding HQ we have been struggling to get the floors replaced following a slight flood! Stressful enough you might think but add to the mix a preschooler, a teething 5 months old and two Sausages and frankly it becomes almost impossible!

Naughty Sausages

The whole house was in disarray as the entire down floor was being replaced. I opted to take the kids out leaving Mr P to project manage and watch the Sausages. This was a mistake… When the flooring guys and Mr P needed to move the fridge they emptied the contents on to the lawn, where the Sausages were sunbathing. (Having scared the flooring guys to death already by barking like a couple of Doberman!) Now I would have said that this was probably one of the most foolish ideas poor Mr P has had in a while, because by the time he realised how silly this was the Sausages had eaten the majority of the fridge contents! It reads a little like the Saturday in The Hungry Caterpillar:

1 x block of Mature Cheddar (unopened)

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

1 x Pork & Cider Casserole (left over from the previous night)

2 x Carrots

1 x Pack of Continental Meats

1 x Tub of Creme Fraiche

6 x Half Eaten Mushrooms (clearly not a favourite)

1 x nibbled Pepper (not man enough for that)

You would think after this list that the Sausages would be satisfied, surely two small dogs could eat nothing further? Wrong! Not satisfied with the fridge contents they then started on the wooden spoons/spatulas that had also been moved outside. My best wooden spoon was totally destroyed! When I arrived back with the children both Sausages were more like burgers! (They were also quite chastened as I can only imagine how cross Mr P would have been).

The end of the story? No. I went out later that day to take Mr P somewhere, without thinking I left the changing bag (will I ever learn) downstairs and I left my work bag on the stairs. Because the Sausages were snoozing innocently on their bed, I stupidly left them free run of the house. Another HUGE mistake! On returning home, it became clear that there is no end to the stomach of a Sausage! In the 45 minutes I had been gone they added the following to their Hungry Caterpillar list:

4 x French Fancies (including half the cardboard box)

1 x Mr Kipling Angel Cake (plastic wrapping spotless)

2 x Mars Bars (taken from the unopened multi-pack and unwrapped from their original packages)

The last items were a huge concern to me, I mean everyone knows that chocolate is poison for dogs, despite being mad at them for eating MY Mars bars (I was saving those for the evening), I watched them like a hawk debating whether they needed veterinary attention. My concern was unnecessary, I should have know that these two are indestructable, apart from waddling about all evening due to being so stuffed with the days spoils (they still requested their dinner, a request that I have to say was denied!) there were no ill effects. A few extra poos for me to clean up that was all…

They didn’t even have the decency to look guilty about their exploits –  therefore I have no choice but to sit them down and drum into them the following mantra ‘I am A Dachshund not a Dustbin!’

The PramshedMumzilla

24 thoughts on “The Tale of The Very Hungry Sausages”

  1. Omgosh! I don’t know why I giggled so much at the idea of them eating French Fancies but I did! These dogs have a bigger/stronger stomach than me!

    Lu x #TribalLove

    1. I seriously don’t know where they put it – I personally was gutted about the french fancies as had planned to enjoy them with a brew whilst blogging the evening away! Thanks for commenting chick xx

  2. Oh my lord! I LOVE your sausages they are hilarious. We want to get a dog and my grandparents always had a little pack of sausages, I think I may have to follow suit! Do they moult a lot? Are you worried they will put their backs out?! #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. They are pretty funny – we usualy just end up saying ‘THAT dog’ alot! Surprisingly they do moult quite a bit, they are short haired sausages,I think the long haired ones might be better… I used to worry about their backs but these days we spend so much time stopping them eating out the bin that we any thoughts of back problems are far from our minds! Thanks for commenting xx

    1. Def sausage rolls – I spend so much time monitoring their food intake so they don’t get too fat for their legs and it all goes to pot on days like that! Thanks for commenting x

  3. Your sausages are legends! I can’t believe Mr P thought that it was a good idea to empty the fridge onto the lawn next to the sausages. There was no way that was going to end well! #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. Somedays I think Mr P forgets to put his brain in when we gets up! They do have legendary moments, but sometimes I just put my head in my hands and walk the other way…! Thanks for commenting xx

  4. Wow that’s some haul for little dogs!! I can’t believe they weren’t sick. Hmm I’m with Emma…is putting the contents of a fridge NEXT to a dog ever a good idea!? Hope the flooring saga is over now lovely #fortheloveofBLOG

  5. I’m so sorry but I found this really funny reading this post, it’s the way that you’ve written it. It must have been an absolute disaster at the time, I didn’t realise that such small dogs could eat so much and you must have been really worried about the Mars Bars. It was the reference to the Hungry Caterpillar that gave me the giggles, also because I had read this book over and over again this evening to my daughter to try to settle her to sleep. Thanks so much for linking up to #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    1. Glad it made you laugh – we did see the funny side eventually! Although dinner was a lean affair that night… They both looked like that enormous fat caterpillar by the end of the evening. Naughty Sausages… Thanks for hosting and commenting xx

  6. I just HAD to click on this link! I love your little sausage story. I chuckled all the way through. What was Mr P thinking?! I have this little vision of two barrel rather than sausage shaped with their little legs not even being able to touch the ground. Sooo funny. Glad there is no lasting damage to sausages…Although your wallets were severely dented! #fortheloveofblog

    1. Mr P occasionally forgets to connect his brain when he gets up! And your vision of them with huge tummy’s and legs that didn’t touch the floor was very close to the truth, at bedtime we almost had to roll them into the garden for a wee! Thanks for commenting xx

  7. haha oh dear those dogs! Not even giving you the guilty puppy dog eyes either! I would be worried too with the last few items but I’m glad they were okay! #fortheloveofblog

    1. These two are almost indestructable and they do try to look guilty but then they are too busy trying to raid the bin to remember they are in trouble for long! Thanks for commenting xx

  8. Hehe naughty sausages! Though I do remember when I was younger our dog pried the fridge open and ate an entire smoked salmon. She just lay there on her side regretful for the rest of th day!! Hope to hear more about your sausages soon xx #triballove

    1. I don’t think I would have been so mad if they had been regretful… the Mars Bars were a terrible blow, how did they even know they were there?! There are regular Sausage posts due to them always misbehaving, keep your eyes peeled I can almost feel them plottinas they lay next to me! Thanks for commenting xx

  9. I bloody love this post and I still think your sausages could be the stars of an extremely funny children’s book on the peril’s of over indulging! Also new blog looking lush! #chucklemums

  10. Sorry but I found this hilarious! I’m not sure who I’m more impressed with? The genius sausages who managed to open a multi pack of Mars and select the appropriate number, unwrap and eat them, or the fabulous Mr P for putting the contents of the fridge… on the lawn?? The lawn?? Like where the spiders and worms hang out?? This is so something that my hubby would do too!
    Brilliant xx

  11. This is bloody hilarious!! Naughty little dogs. Love that they weren’t interested in mushrooms or pepper though. I would eat all the French fancies and mars bars if left unattended, too, so I can’t blame them! #triballove #chucklemums

  12. My dog is exactly the same, although I’m sure no one would be foolhardy enough to leave fridge contents within reach, he once ate all my cousin’s shopping while she popped in for a visit. Awkward.

    Thanks for joining #chucklemums 😁

  13. Your dogs are hilarious! Very funny, apart from being worried about them of course! Growing up, I remember our red setter eating a whole birthday cake and 3 jars of my mum’s homemade jam and being fine!. #stayclassy

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