This Is My Time and You Won’t Take it From Me – PND

It started when Pie went off to school. I knew it would be hard but a little part of me was looking forward to some peaceful days. Well peaceful days have turned into peaceful weeks… With out realising it the low mood has crept back in. Slowly, unnoticed but as dark as before.

I recognised it quicker this time. The rising irritability, the lack of motivation and I am sorry to say but a slight slide in personal hygiene. Maybe I did realise it earlier than I wanted to admit. I knew I was struggling. But I figured it was normal to feel a bit lost when your child first starts school. Lost yes – totally derailed no.

Counselling / Pixabay

The school provides Pie with a routine and me too, to a certain extent. But the 6 hours he is away leaves me able to stew in my own juices quite uninterrupted. To torture myself with what I should or could be doing, but ultimately doing nothing. Feeling uninspired to eat, socialise or indeed shower.

I force myself out of the house on occasion. For Puddings sake I attend a class, potter into town or if its a particularly bad day we just about make it to the corner shop. I speak to no one other than my husband or my mother. If friends ask I maintain I am ok, just busy. Yep just busy sitting staring blankly at the TV. I can’t even pretend I am busy blogging! Maybe if I could concentrate long enough I would blog. But my mind flits about, not able to settle to anything. Like a constant turning cog, of a machine that keeps slipping it’s gears.

On the outside you would never know. I function. Childcare, work, chores, sleep, repeat. A robot going through the motions.

DigiPD / Pixabay

This time I caught myself getting frustrated over everything and nothing. Spotted the signs in my own self. From somewhere I found strength enough to say to my husband ‘I am not doing OK’. It’s only half the battle though. Now I need to act. To pull myself back and to get a grip on the darkness before it sucks me back in. I can do it – but I need to want to.

Tomorrow I will get up. I will shower, maybe even straighten my hair. When Pie wakes up I will be dressed, downstairs and breakfast will be ready for him. Let’s start small and work up from there. It’s time to crawl out of my well and stand in the beautiful autumn sunshine.

I will not be beaten by you PND, this is my time. My time with the children, to enjoy them and to nurture them. I only get this chance once and you won’t take it from me.

Mummy Bloggers; a 21st Century Feminism Movement?

Feminism is a word that I have found on the tip of my tongue recently. I read more stories of women treated unfairly during pregnancy. More reports about the ongoing debate around the gender pay gap. Yet as I look around there is a shift in political power towards women. With Theresa May in the top government seat, Angela Merkel leading the way in Germany and high hopes across the pond that Hillary Clinton will be the first female American President. The status of women is changing. It is a brave new world for women everywhere and we need to stand up and grab it with both hands.

jill111 / Pixabay

Never would I have labelled myself a feminist. Certainly not the bra burning images that sprung to mind when I first thought of feminism. But on closer inspection of the true definition of feminism I can state proudly that I am firmly in that camp. Equal opportunities for all, no one gender or race above any other. Unsurprisingly I find many of my blogger friends hold my beliefs.

Feminism is the belief that all people are entitled to the same civil rights and liberties and can be intellectual equals regardless of gender. However, you should still hold the door for a feminist; this is known as respect or politeness and need have nothing whatever to do with gender discrimination. – by The Thinker-Writer January 31, 2010

Blogging has provided an excellent platform for women to share ideas as well as the highs and lows of raising a family. It has given Mum’s everywhere a voice. Advice flows freely, bad days are shared and good days are triumphed. Communities are built online providing support for both personal and professional issues. Letting all mums know they aren’t alone, that whatever they are going through someone has been there. I have received fierce and loyal encouragement from my fellow bloggers.

The rise in ‘mummy bloggers’ has increased dramatically in the last few years. Although not many are well-known outside of their own sphere many are taking on the tough feminist questions and providing new ideas and concepts. Some have developed into business owners and flourished as entrepreneurs. Proving that women can be just as successful as men on a level playing field.

The few headline successes have inspired others to take to a keyboard and add their own voices to the collective. Demanding the attention of the world to look at women’s every day struggles to have children, to raise children, to work and to mother. Highlighting the shortcomings of childcare in supporting mothers to return to work and to help change the perception of stay at home mums. Mummy bloggers everywhere have climbed on their virtual pedestal to shout: ‘Hey its not all roses over here! We need support from the government and employers to achieve our full potential. We need to be recognised for the sterling job we are doing raising the next generation’.

I know that many people are fed up of hearing the same old rhetoric from Mummy Bloggers. Hearing people say that there is a limitation in the content we can write irritates me. Most of us realise that we are never going to be superstar bloggers. That’s not why we do it. We do it to be heard, to know that we can say what we need to. Because no one can change the world overnight. But if enough people can stand up and say this needs changing then eventually it will be.

I would like to think that my daughter has been born into a world where she will believe there is no difference in what men and women can achieve. That she can reach for the stars and they can be hers. Whether she wishes to be an astronaut or a stay at home mum. Anything is achievable for her.

100 years ago no one would have believed that a woman would hold the office of Prime Minister, let alone potentially be President of The United States. Here we are on the cusp of amazing things for women and although Mummy Bloggers may not be leading the charge they are definitely giving it some momentum.

How to Raise a Sensitive Boy

Most people who see my four-year old charging around would not for one minute think he is sensitive. He doesn’t sit quietly engaged in a task, or play away from other children. You will normally see him tooled up with a stick or a light sabre! But don’t think for one second that my big boisterous boy is all that he appears.

scottwebb / Pixabay
He is a very sensitive soul. Pie will take everything to heart. Things you said weeks ago can resurface and need to be talked through. Almost as if he has been going over them, replaying the moment. If he thinks he has done something to upset you he wants to make amends. He wants everyone to be his friend! But he also struggles to keep all those feelings in check. Leading to huge outbursts over things most kids wouldn’t bat an eyelid at.

Pie always wants to try to make you happy. He checks several times a day if I am happy. He definitely has my anxious nature. A trait wish I wish I had not passed on. But at least I know what I am dealing with. Saying that though sometimes he completely throws me. My happy, bouncy boy can be raging in a matter of seconds with no apparent cause. At one stage I questioned if there was something else going on. I have questioned my own parenting many many times. Finally I think I have him sussed. Not all the time obviously! I mean he is four, being irrational is his prerogative.

qimono / Pixabay
The stereotyping for boys to be tough and macho is embedded so early. Even without meaning to we can all fall into the trap. I have done it myself, I find myself saying things like be a big brave boy. Or worse still don’t be such a girl when he runs off from a spider! I know I shouldn’t say it. Why shouldn’t he be scared of spiders? His Dad is! What I say in jest he takes so to heart. I forget sometimes that he is only 4, that he can’t understand my teasing.

I don’t want to wrap him in cotton wool. Equally so I am trying to teach him that it’s ok to have feelings and emotions. It’s ok to be scared or anxious about things. That as his Mummy I will look after him. Realising how sensitive he is has made me look closely at how I parent him.

Now I think more about how I phrase my requests. I make sure he isn’t rushed out of the house, but has time to prepare himself. I try not to give him the plan for the whole day – or he incessantly worries that we won’t get it all done. Mostly I respect what he says. If he says I don’t want to go out and what we had planned isn’t important then I don’t force him. If we are going somewhere new I don’t build up his expectations. I let him discover things at his own pace.

The most important thing I have learnt is that he needs more reassurance. He needs those extra cuddles. He wants to say I love you and hear you say it back. The recognition that he is important and that his view matters. What he doesn’t need is endless stimulation and presents. He needs my time, my patience and my understanding.

Are You Inflicted With Mum Madness?

Ok so we have all heard about the baby brain yes? But are you aware of the very common Mum Madness? Not so talked about perhaps but just as serious!

After my two children I thought that the baby brain would subside. It didn’t. It segways in to mum madness without you even realising. One minute you are putting car keys in the fridge. Next you are shouting at the toddler to stop licking shop windows…

AdinaVoicu / Pixabay

My kids provide no end of stupid to fall out of my mouth. Things that no one could ever have imagined saying. Part of Mum Madness is that the words come out before your realise how utterly ridiculous you sound!

The other major component to Mum Madness is the inability to organise anything. Or should I say you majorly overestimate or worse still underestimate how difficult getting anything done is. Pre children you would stroll from the house, tiny hand bag, bank card and iPhone. Not a care in the world. Head phones in, tunes pumping.

Fast forward 3 years. You are popping to the corner shop. Just a pint of milk that’s all you need. To be sure you have packed a bag the size of Bermuda – 14 outfit changes, 6 nappies, bottle of milk, travel steriliser… The toddler has his scooter and his bike, 6 stuffed bears and in our case a light sabre and a Harry Potter wand. You get to the shop looking like a removal company to discover you don’t have your reusable bag!! (Or your purse!)

StephanieRae_ca / Pixabay

It would just appear that post kids any chance you had of resuming functionality as a person goes out the window. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Perhaps it’s the 50,000 questions you answer in an hour. Or it could be that your poor brain is so busy trying to keep these small people happy and alive there is no room for anything else!

This post first appeared on meetothermums.com

The Sunshine Spot: Feel Tired…But Look Good!

Like millions of women around the world, I feel the need to be like the Energizer Bunny.  I plan absolutely everything, I make goals which I feel are realistic and I sign up for activities because it seems my help may be needed.  It’s wonderful that I do these things-but then I forget to plan the time to get these things accomplished.  I once had my doctor tell me that I needed to work harder on my treatment regimen and I told her that’d be totally doable if she was going to put more hours in my day!  (she didn’t give me any more hours nor did she revise my regimen! )

I finally came to accept that I fit in with probably 95% of all women all over the world.  Ask any woman how they are doing and if they are completely honest with you, they will tell you that they are tired.  I decided to take a harder look at my day to see where some adjustments could be made.  I was not a happy camper when I didn’t find much moving room.  I’m thinking you probably won’t, either.  So what’s a gal to do?

DieterRobbins / Pixabay

After not being able to add more hours to my day, and not being able to really take any activities out of my day, I decided to work with what I had left:  my appearance.  Here are some of the things I have found helpful:

  • Figure out your face shape and use it to your advantage.  I think long hair is beautiful.  I always had long hair in my younger days.  But now, long hair does something to my face that I can’t deny-it makes it look droopy and accentuates the puffy bags under my eyes (which I’ll address later).  I have found that a chin-length bob works best for my oval-shaped face.  From time to time-particularly in the hot, humid summer months-I’ll grow it past my chin but I usually feel like an old hag-and I’m sure I look it, too!  So I finally just had to accept that even though I think long hair is beautiful, it just does not work well with my facial structure.  Added bonuses to shorter hair:  a) short hair elongates your neck which gives the illusion of additional height!  I’m 5 feet so I always love to look taller – and thinner!; b) less hair products to use; and c) less hair to clog the drain (which makes my hubby happy!)!
RyanMcGuire / Pixabay
  • Learn your skin tone and use it to your advantage.    I’m fair-skinned and freckle easily.  I figured out that soft colors look best on me.  When I’m under the weather but have to keep it going without the world knowing, I opt for soft pastels in pink, lavender or blue.  If you aren’t sure of which colors suit you best, you can go to Wiki.com and search for “How to Choose Colors That Flatter Skintone”.  Or, you can have a little fun and try different colors and see how many compliments you get from close friends and/or acquaintances.  We all have those best friends who will tell us like it is!
  • The eyes have it.  This is a two-part section. For starters, learn which eye shadow colors work best for you.  I have blue eyes so I prefer browns or maybe a brown with a pink undertone.  I love color, so in my younger days, I played with many different colors.  Over the years, I have also learned which colors do NOT work well:  purple and green; blue I use in extremely small amounts.  (This is very unfortunate because I really love purple eye shadow.)  You can go to Google.com and search for “eyeshadow colors for eyes” which pulls up many articles to help you figure out which colors work best for your eyes.  I have always enjoyed playing with colors on my own!
PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay
  • I suffer from sever under eye dark circles and puffiness.  There are some mornings I honestly wonder if my husband hit me while I was sleeping!  I have spent tons of money on products for this, but I have found two rather cheaper alternatives that I now turn to:  a) Preparation H; and b) Yes to Cucumbers Soothing Eye Gel.  Preparation H can be found in any supermarket but be careful to not over use it.  I will usually use it only a couple of nights a week.  I’m sure you can use it more, but I just simply choose not to.  As for the soothing eye gel, I found it at my local Walgreens for less than $15.  It is a known fact that cucumbers are a miracle cure for puffy eyes.  After only two nights of using this gel, I could tell a difference in my “eye bags”.  You can actually use it morning and night if you’d like.  For my dark circles, I use my Estee Lauder Advanced Eye Repair in the mornings under my make-up.  It really is a little expensive, but a little goes a long way so I really only buy a jar every six months.

There are so many other things to try-and believe me, I’ll keep trying different things!  Actually, while I was getting this article together, I came across several things I want to try myself.  I hope you’ve found this article helpful.  Feel free to comment with what you’ve found helpful as we keep moving on!

Thank you for reading!


Introducing The Sunshine Spot

Melissa Langston is a blogger for hire and creator/author of The Sunshine Spot, a fun blog meant to encourage and inspire others. She enjoys relaxing at the beach and/or creek, shopping, playing the piano and being with family and friends. Check Melissa out on Facebook and Twitter for some more inspirational tips and ideas! Don’t forget to tell her that Pudding sent you 🙂

Beauties & The Bibs: Be the parent you want to be!

I remember when I was pregnant I had all these ideas of the type of parent I was going to be. I had in mind that I was going to be this calm collected parent that had it all sussed out. I was going to make sure Ava slept in her own bed had a strict routine. I wasn’t going to stray away from that.

The first few months I did pretty well at this. Ava was such an easy baby I mean she very rarely cried so it made being new parents so much easier than we expected. Then things change the tiredness starts and you will do anything for a few hours shut-eye. Most nights now me and Ava co-sleep in the spare room. I mean she goes to sleep fine she must just miss me in the middle of the night. Every night she screams at about 12. Then as soon as we get in bed together she is comforted and goes straight back to sleep.

Zinz25 / Pixabay

You are constantly having people’s opinions thrusted into your face with how you should be doing things. Especially when it comes to sleeping and weaning. You can become so lost in a sea of opinions and which one is the best to listen to.

sathyatripodi / Pixabay

 

I have come to learn that you need to do what is best for you and your little family. Be the parent you want to be not what other people want you to be. If something doesn’t agree with you like letting your children cry at bed time, don’t do it. It may work for other children but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for yours. If you want to do baby led weaning then do it! Don’t let anybody persuade you to do it another way. You need to do what is best. Let’s face it only you know what’s actually best for your child even though others may think they do.


Introducing Beauties & The Bibs

Jessica is a new mum to baby Ava, born this year. Currently on maternity she is just starting out in the blogging world, whilst juggling a foundation degree in Early Childhood Studies! Aided by her trusty dog Kya you can follow her journey at Beauties & The Bibs. Some beautiful pictures of Jessica and her family as well as fantastic writing. Would also be fab if you followed Jessica on Twitter and Facebook.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles (Well Almost!)

Travelling with small children is no mean feat. Travelling across the country by bus, train and tube with two small children is not for the faint hearted! Especially when you are flying solo on the back of an eventful nursing shift. Sometimes I wonder why I do it to myself!

I had planned the trip to my parents a few weeks ago. A great way for Pie to finish his post tonsillectomy recovery. I have to say I thought the train thing would be an adventure. This was my first mistake. 20 minutes on a train = adventure. 4 hours is not so much an adventure but a form of torture.

Thursday morning arrived. Having had a pretty awful and very long shift on Wednesday, Thursday morning was a struggle. I mean a struggle to move due to being achey and downright exhausted. Having hauled my sorry ass out of bed and fed the kids. I now had to pack. Initially I chucked everything in a large backpack suitcase. Picked up suitcase and realised that there was no way in hell I was going to carry it downstairs. Let alone across London and have Pudding in the carrier! Ok rethink. Repack half stuff in case. Nope. Unpack again. Repack into small wheeled suitcase and small day sack.

Townsvillewomen / Pixabay


Obviously this was done whilst attempting to not lose my temper with kids. I failed. In the end I stuck Pie in front of Star Wars. Not a great parenting moment using the TV babysitter at 9am. But I managed to live with myself. Luckily Pudding had got bored and decided on a cat nap on my bed!

Suitcase finally packed. Next dilemma arose. How to get to the station? Yes we could walk but Pie isn’t a fan of that. I didn’t want to set the air raid siren off before the journey began… Decided to take the bus. Short walk to the bus stop but easier than the train. Right. Pudding in carrier, backpack on and pick up suitcase. Pick up sunglasses. Queue major Pie meltdown as we can’t find his sunglasses. Leave house dragging a small suitcase and a screaming boy.

Luckily the bus came quickly and Pie had got a grip. Unfortunately the lower deck was full of people. Naturally no one wanted to give up their seat. I mean I don’t really need a seat. I only have a baby in a carrier, a four-year old, a suitcase and a backpack. Can’t think of any one who needs a seat less than I do….


Finally we arrive in town. It’s taken longer than I anticipate. So now this crazy lady is running. Like a wonkey donkey, Pie and I charge down the street. Burst into the station. No time for the lift I managed to get all of us onto an escalator without anyone falling head first!

We collapse onto the train. With the dawning realisation that we have only done half the journey. That was the easy part. Next I have to get my brood and suitcase across London. Worse still is that both the kids and I are hangry. Pudding is easy, so she gets hers. Pie and I need a sandwich, but the catering cart doesn’t cater for kids. Well done Virgin… Mini cheddars for lunch – another top parenting moment!

On arrival at Euston we fight our way off the train. I already need a wee and Pudding has a slightly suspicious aroma. There is no way I am paying to use the loo and trying to get all of us in one small cubicle. Time to practice those pelvic floor exercises.


Somehow, and don’t ask me how. I managed to march through the station, tackle another 3 escalators and get on the tube. Pie is wide-eyed at a train underground. He has no memories of spending his first 18 months in London.

I have to say the bit I was dreading, was the easiest part! Crossing London a doddle in comparison to trying to get air-raid siren Pie on the bus! We arrive at Victoria and result there is a train in 6 minutes. Of course it’s on the platform that’s at the furthest point. If we miss this its at least 30 mins to entertain the kids before we can get the next one… Cue the wonky donkey! We are off across the station, and arrive on the train panting with about a minute to spare. Collapsing in a heap, Pie says Mummy I like getting the train to Nana’s. At this point I can barely speak – but just nod gently with my eyes closed…

The Pramshed

Learning to be Uncool and Loving It!

In days gone by I used to worry about fashion, hair styles and general trends. Never wanting to be behind the pack. But something has changed. Maybe it’s because I am 30. Or maybe it’s because I am a mother of two. Let’s face it with these two beauts getting up and putting clean knickers on can be a struggle. But I like to think it’s because I have learnt to love myself!

So my hair hasn’t been straightened in 6 months. Well unless you count that day I came home from the hairdressers. But I have learnt how to pull off messy bun. As well as the occasional twist or braid to disguise unwashed hair! Gone are the days of immaculate, poker straight and in are messy frazzled curls. Which to be honest it amazing, cos my hair makes this chick look quaffed!

80's Fashion woman over gray background

Ok so I still squeeze into those skinny jeans. I peruse the latest fashions and dream of rocking out in crop tops and hot pants. But the reality is that I am in my pyjamas by 7pm. Having slung the over shoulder boulder holder on the floor. Usually my husband extracts me from said skinny jeans. Not in a sexy fun way let me tell you. Kind of like skinning a cat really…

Remember that poem ‘When I am old I shall well purple’? Yep that’s right I am rocking the purple. Oh and dungarees. Bloody love dungarees, so 80’s and so versatile. People keep trying to make them trendy but I am queen of the perpetually uncool. High waisted ill-fitting jeans and double denim; it’s like my childhood is coming back to haunt me! (Don’t worry I am not reaching for the shell suit just yet).

Even my music taste is changing. Out are the club tunes. Well except insomnia by Faithless (that is a classic and will never die). For some reason it’s all about the 80’s tunes right now. Rocking round the kitchen to Bananarama (you can blame Nana Pud for that one). I would like to say that Pudding is also a massive fan of the Rama. Bowie and Phil Collins is blasted through the open windows of the car. Usually accompanied by some great driver-dancing. After all when you are driving around in a yellow Fiat, anything goes… And you know what I don’t care who sees me.

Retro yellow ghetto blaster isolated on white with clipping path

So where has this new-found confidence come from? I used to have to follow the crowd. Had to be cool. Ok; so quirky and uncool is the new cool in many ways. I would look pretty chic in some geeky glasses (damn that laser eye surgery). But that’s not why I am changing. It has taken me 30 years and two children to discover there is more to life than being cool. To love my body, my mind, my own ideas. You know what it’s pretty liberating! So I am rocking my uncool 80’s vibe and I am taking my kids with me.

Dear Bear and Beany

Diary of an imperfect mum

Juggling – Guest Post By Agatha & Mary

Agatha & Mary Juggling

So Mary, I bumped into your granddaughter Emily in Wimbledon the other day. She looked well, her little boy is a bonny lad, sitting up in his pram and chucking toys at me. What a darling!

Oh he is quite adorable isn’t he? Looks just like his father don’t you think? Shame about the hairline of course – he’ll be bald by 20, but c’est la vie! Yes lovely young Emily has caused quite a stir with the in-laws as she’s is thinking about going back to work. Did you know?

No, dear, she didn’t mention it. But little Hubert is only six months old. Does she want to go back so soon?

I think it’s more a matter of needs must, Agatha. But she did used to enjoy her job so I think a part of her is looking forward to working again and no doubt regaining some of her identity.

Of course in our day, Mary, we had maids and nannies to look after the wee ones when we needed. And do you remember that fabulous job I had when my offspring were little?

Wasn’t it stuffing teddy bears for the WI, dear?

I only did that once as you well know Mary, don’t you remember that dreadful reaction to the stuffing that I had? Everytime I see calamine lotion I shudder! No, no, if you recall I was Head of Jam. It was a much tougher job than one would imagine and of course it was terribly important – I was in charge of ensuring quality, consistency of colour and texture and making sure no one had bought it in Marks and Spencer and switched the labels. Of course, there was a great deal of tasting involved and one had to be incredibly diplomatic of course.

Yes, I do remember the time when you got into a heated discussion with Mrs Porpington-Smythe about boiling temperatures. It was wooden spoons at dawn, wasn’t it?

Ooh you do make it sound quite dramatic Mary dear! But getting back to Emily and her job, how did she decide it was the right time to go back?

Well, she and her husband Jasper had long discussions, dear. But I think it was her decision, when she felt “ready” as they say nowadays. And I have been telling her that she will be absolutely fabulous back in her job and not to worry that she has forgotten anything.

Oh I do remember that “nappy brain” feeling, when you can’t seem to string a sentence together, let alone type a coherent proposal.

Well, Agatha, in your case I think that lack of facility was more to do with too much brandy, after all it seemed to last even when the children had left home!

Oh Mary dear how you do like to exaggerate, it was just a little pick me up as you well know. Unlike you I can’t eat too much cake or chocolate because of my thighs!

Point taken Agatha! But Emily has become so terrifically organised since little Hubert came along – it will help her when she goes back to work. After all, most new mums find they achieve spectacular things they never thought possible when baby comes along.

Like waking regularly in the night and making a bottle, or changing a nappy, without screaming you mean?

Oh absolutely dear; just like juggling when to wash your hair, or go to the toilet. Sometimes I managed that more than once a week – it was all quite thrilling!

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But Mary dear, in our day we didn’t have any rights so we just had to get on with things, but what about nowadays? What happens if Emily needs to work, what is it called, flexible hours?

Well Agatha, she found this amazing spiders web link thing which gave her lots of good information.

Legal situation: https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/know-your-rights-when-you-go-back-to-work-after-having-a-baby

Mary, dear, I think it’s called the Interweb, not Spiders Web – but never mind. This all looks perfectly topping to me.

Oh Agatha yes it is, and there are some lovely people out there ready to help you if you need some advice on all sorts of things to do with going back to work after having a baby.

Women Like Us are a good place to start: http://www.womenlikeus.org.uk/

In our day, of course, you just listened to your husband and did what you were told.

Quite, Mary, except you never listened to the Count, did you?

Never understood a word he said, dear. Always spoke Italian and I never could get the hang of it. Still, that’s probably the secret of our successful marriage! Another slice of jammy sponge?

Oh please, and this must be your own jam recipe no doubt! I must say as one gets older one does rely more on the support of one’s underwear to cope with the fact that everything is either spreading or heading south.

Speak for yourself dear, the Count commented how ‘fit’ I think the term is, I was looking the only the other day.

Well dear, I find that hard to imagine.

Yes, come to think of it he was talking about that night the four of us invented a new dance. I’m convinced the lovely Michael Jackson took inspiration from us for his Thriller song.

originalthrillerdance (2)  

But you know what Agatha dear – I think these young women today are absolutely marvellous.

Not only do they embrace motherhood and all the picalilly nappies that go with it, but they somehow manage to go to work on minimal sleep, or juggle babies and running the home. And look at the rise of the mummy blogger, how wonderful they are. But we know that the old idea of “having it all” is not possible. Women don’t need to be juggling a high powered city career with six kids – to feel successful. Just getting through the day and giving your children a cuddle and story at bedtime is a real achievement.

Oh Mary dear how right you are! We don’t need Super Mums to make us feel like we are constantly failing. And sometimes success comes from doing what you love. Just look at that Nadiya from The Great British Bake Off, she’s just getting on with motherhood and doing all the stuff that holds a family together as well as fitting in time to bake a cake for the Queen and write a cookery book.

I quite agree dear. I feel we should raise a glass to our fellow mothers, working or at home, who are holding everything together and still finding the energy and commitment to make their lives and that of their families better.

Oh admirable Mary dear, I’ll ring for Snetter. A bottle of the Bolly ’48 would be perfect with your cake.

Scrummy!

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/recipe/jammy-coconut-sponge/


Did you love this post? It was written by two new bloggers who I absolutely love! (Hence why I am showcasing it!) You can find Agatha and Mary on their own blog here. You can also find them on Twitter. This quirky duo cover all types of topics on their blog with an old fashioned twist. We think they are a pretty jolly pair. Make sure you go over and say Hi, don’t forget to tell them that Pudding sent you 🙂

The Other Side of the Operating Table

Tomorrow Pie will be having his operation to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. He is also having grommets inserted. I know that this is the right thing for him as he is deaf as a post. He also snores like a beast!

I am nervous, more nervous than I thought I would be. Mr Pud is doing the hospital bit. Not out of choice but someone has to stay with Pudding. She totally plays Mr Pud so she has to stay with me. Meanwhile I am sending my gorgeous boy off to the surgeons. I have been the nurse in these situations many times. But this is different. This is my child.

Operating Table

I know how the whole thing works.  How they will arrive and be greeted by a lovely nurse. Pie will meet his surgeon and have everything explained. Daddy will dress him in his hospital gown and together they will go down to the operating theatre.

I want to be there. I can’t. This is the joy of having two children and family to far away to help. I am his mother and he needs me.

So many times I have comforted parents. Steered them from the ward. Promised to call as soon as their baby is in recovery. Offered empty words or cups of tea. Held their hands. Given out hugs and tissues. Usually in circumstances much more serious than a tonsillectomy.

This time I am on the other side of the operating table. I don’t like it. It’s my baby, my boy who is at the mercy of someone else. I have no control over what happens. All the risks run through my head and crash over me like the tide. My rational brain is fighting with my emotional neurosis.

The boys are staying over night in the hospital. In a way this is good. Really all I want to do is scoop Pie up and tuck him in his own bed. I want to hold his hand and stroke his hair while he sleeps. Rock him in my arms like I haven’t done since he was a baby. Tell him Mummy loves him. Apologise that I couldn’t be there.

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Being the other side of the operating table is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. My heart goes out to all the other parents whose children go through this. You are so brave. Braver than me. I can’t imagine what I would do if this was life saving heart surgery. Or one of several operations. I have been lucky to have a strong, healthy boy. I am sure he will bounce back like the trooper he is. But tonight? Tonight I will squeeze him a little tighter. Keep him up a little longer and read just one more story…