Graduating into The World of The Grown-ups

It’s a strange thing when you realise unexpectedly that you have entered the realm of the ‘grown-ups’. Most people think this automatically happens when you turn 21.  For me personally all that happened when I turned 21 was the amount of alcohol consumed went up and the scrapes I got myself into required a lot more getting out of! But as I looked across the table at my school friends the other night I suddenly realised that we were in fact now adults.

This is truly cemented now that we have 6 children between us (Poor Pie is the only boy, Least he has the pick of the ladies). But I don’t quite know when this happened. We are all married and have been for 5 years or more, I don’t remember thinking wow we are all big girls now we have husbands. We still had those boozy weekends away and fell back into our teenage ways. Then the pregnancy announcements started, which to be honest curtailed the booze (hopefully only temporary). Once the first of the little people arrived it was out with shopping trips and in with nappy changes and nipple cream.

cherylholt / Pixabay

It was great to have my closest girlfriends going through stuff together, it made that journey into motherhood much easier. I think the real shift into adulthood came one Xmas eve. Usually a drunken affair with some very silly games, this was replaced by soft drinks and quiet(ish) conversation. Where had those raucous twenty-somethings gone? I would like to say it’s because we were all so happy and contented we know longer needed to prove we were the loudest voice in the room. In all honesty I think it had more to do with the fact that we were all shattered and wanted to be at our best for the kids next morning! And there it is the reason why we went from living it up to the Mumsketeers. You can’t get shit faced until 3am and function with a baby and a toddler the next day.

stokpic / Pixabay

It’s not that having a baby makes you a boring person. It’s just that your priorities change. You wake up one morning and realise you are no longer at university, but that these small people depend on you. The late nights are gone. The responsibilities are bearing down on you. Without realising it you stray into the land of the grown-ups and once you are in there you understand that it’s not so bad. So long as you have your friends and you smuggled in a bottle of gin.

Blogging Balance – Too Much Information?

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Here at Pudding HQ we are all pretty new to the world of blogging, Twitter and all the things that come with it. The geeky part of me is enjoying getting to grips with coding and designing the website and I love the challenge of promoting the site. The realistic part of me says that this will never come to anything more than a hobby but what if it did? What if my website took off and became as famous as some of my other fellow bloggers? As amazing as this would be it would come with a huge amount of responsibility to Pudding & Pie.

The danger of overstaring information is brought into sharp context when you remember that everything you write or post online will be around forever. All that I write today will be available for my children to read when they are teenagers. How then will they feel about having their young lives described in every intimate detail? Do I want them to know about every personal struggle I had whilst raising them? I think the answer is no. I never want either Pudding or Pie to read anything I have written and to think that in that moment I didn’t like them or love them. I want them to read about our good times together or the hilarious disasters that befall our family on a regular basis and laugh. I don’t want them to feel that they spent the first few years of life irritating the hell out their mother, because in general that’s not true. I think I could easily fall into the trap of casting them as comical individuals or turning them into mini monsters, I hope that I don’t.

I chose to anonymise Pudding & Pie because I don’t want there school friends to Google them and be flooded with stories of toddlerhood and embarrassing pictures. I think about their long term futures – high flying execs? Politician or even Prime Minister? I can’t see that future employers would want to have access to their whole childhoods and nobody wants to hear about the Prime Ministers’ potty training. My job is to protect my kids but I also want to share my parenting experience and read about others, it’s a hard balance.

I already love the online mum community I have only recently been initiated into, every one gets each other and there is such a sense of ‘we are all in this together’. I just worry that I will turn into a moany mum blogger – concentrating only on my children’s failings and foibles, or that I will paint myself as a terrible mother! I want to be able to write hilarious, witty anecdotal posts without being either moany mum or rubbish mum. I think I can do it, I am certainly going to try!

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