To My Baby Now You Are One

Dearest Pudding,

Today you turned one. It has been a year since a nurse laid you on me and I met you for that first time. My squashed, slightly potato shaped Pudding. I knew I loved you before I saw you. But once I could feel you on my skin, see your face and feel your hand clasp round mine, I knew I would love you forever. My troll haired Pud. You have completed our family. We are now the awesome, foursome.Mummy Tag

It hasn’t been easy. I can’t deny there were times when I thought the PND would beat me. Would drag me down, tear our family apart. You wouldn’t let it – your smile got me through those darkest of days. Knowing you needed me kept me fighting. You will never know how low I felt in those early days of your life. You saved me Pud, saved me from myself.

I don’t know how a year has passed this fast. What a crazy year it has been. My little squashed potato you have blossomed into an independent little diva. The troll hair remains but that helpless newborn has gone. I remember those early cuddles, you curled into my neck. Fast asleep on my chest. Long gone are those days. Now I am lucky to get more than a passing wave as you crawl off on your next mischief-making adventure!

You are the cutest little thing right now. You always wake with a smile and a giggle. I love walking into your room and finding you babbling to your bears. You are an adventurous, plucky little lady. Forever climbing the stairs and diving off the sofa head first. The sausage dog loves you. She totally dotes on your every move, rolling over to allow you to stroke her tummy. Suffering you sitting on her and pulling her ears. You two are thick as thieves as she sits under your highchair scoffing scraps!

I know your brother has loved you from the beginning. But today watching you together as he helped with your presents I felt so proud. I knew then how much you loved each other. How important you are to each other. I know you two will fight, I know it won’t always be a rose garden. That’s ok, it’s what you do with your siblings – but just try not wind him up too much. I can already see he is going to be the sensitive one out of the two of you.

So now you are one my gorgeous Pudding. What excitement will the next 12 months bring? I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that this year has gone so fast. I can almost feel the time running through my fingers like sand. I want to catch it. To stop it, to have one more sleepy cuddle with you. One more moment listening to you babble. I know you have to grow-up, that you will continue to amaze me every day as you do so. But I will treasure this year in my memory. Remind myself of how you felt curled against my skin in the delivery room. For now though my Pud, you are one and to you my darling Happy Birthday.

Love Mummy x

Graduating into The World of The Grown-ups

It’s a strange thing when you realise unexpectedly that you have entered the realm of the ‘grown-ups’. Most people think this automatically happens when you turn 21.  For me personally all that happened when I turned 21 was the amount of alcohol consumed went up and the scrapes I got myself into required a lot more getting out of! But as I looked across the table at my school friends the other night I suddenly realised that we were in fact now adults.

This is truly cemented now that we have 6 children between us (Poor Pie is the only boy, Least he has the pick of the ladies). But I don’t quite know when this happened. We are all married and have been for 5 years or more, I don’t remember thinking wow we are all big girls now we have husbands. We still had those boozy weekends away and fell back into our teenage ways. Then the pregnancy announcements started, which to be honest curtailed the booze (hopefully only temporary). Once the first of the little people arrived it was out with shopping trips and in with nappy changes and nipple cream.

cherylholt / Pixabay

It was great to have my closest girlfriends going through stuff together, it made that journey into motherhood much easier. I think the real shift into adulthood came one Xmas eve. Usually a drunken affair with some very silly games, this was replaced by soft drinks and quiet(ish) conversation. Where had those raucous twenty-somethings gone? I would like to say it’s because we were all so happy and contented we know longer needed to prove we were the loudest voice in the room. In all honesty I think it had more to do with the fact that we were all shattered and wanted to be at our best for the kids next morning! And there it is the reason why we went from living it up to the Mumsketeers. You can’t get shit faced until 3am and function with a baby and a toddler the next day.

stokpic / Pixabay

It’s not that having a baby makes you a boring person. It’s just that your priorities change. You wake up one morning and realise you are no longer at university, but that these small people depend on you. The late nights are gone. The responsibilities are bearing down on you. Without realising it you stray into the land of the grown-ups and once you are in there you understand that it’s not so bad. So long as you have your friends and you smuggled in a bottle of gin.