Pudding HQ Prepares to Travel

 I was asked this week ‘Are you excited about your weekend away?’, it was only Monday and I have to be totally honest that on Monday I was not excited. All I could see looming in front of me were the thousand and one things that as the chief organiser, top packer and lead chauffeur (not to mention general miracle worker) I had to get done before the ‘holiday’ could begin. I mean even the word ‘holiday’ is misleading as in all honest its the same shit in a different location with only half the things you need and the overwhelming feeling that you should be enjoying yourself!

Red suitcase

Those carefree days when I was younger when I would just buy a load of holiday cloths and dump them in the suitcase the night before are a distant memory, in part because I haven’t brought new clothes in bulk for several years. But mainly because these days I carve out a small corner of the suitcase for me, and then the rest is dedicated to those essential kid items. Now before Pudding was born life had got marginally easier, but now I am back to packing all but the kitchen sink (I would take that too but you have to have a cut off point somewhere). My husband laughs, he always reminds me that we aren’t going to outer mongolia, and its true we are only going to Wales where there will be access to Boots and Sainsbury’s should we need anything. Still top packer I am and packing I shall do.

Then comes the general organising, this includes ensuring the house is clean because I don’t want to have to trip over anything when I return from said ‘holiday’ with two tired and grumpy children. Making sure everyone has some clean pyjamas to wear and a tidy bed to get into is also essential, two tired and grumpy children remember? Of course the fridge needs looking at before we go to, who wants to return to that carton of milk that will be out of date and slightly lumpy? Worse still if you pour it into your cup of tea and take a gigantic thirst quenching swig before realising that its chewy… Don’t forget the kitchen bin as well, that nappy from this morning is not going to smell to sweet in a warm house after 4 days. The Sausages’ need some planning too, this time my brother in law is kindly coming to dog sit for a few days but the dog walker will still need to come in twice to fill in the gaps. I have to break it to the Sausages gently that they aren’t coming, Flick takes this as a personal afront and promptly refuses to move out of the car seat, when I do finally evict her she sits on her bed looking straight at the wall and refuses to look at me. Having completed the majority of my chief organiser duties its time to take up my chauffeur post.

Luckily Mr Pudding has agreed to pack the car so with a few wifely instructions he does a masterful job. I in the meantime have packed a snack bag for Pie, rechecked the map, put the postcode in my iPhone and looked at the traffic report. I know its going to be too longer a journey to do in one go, so a stop has to be planned – to early and everyone will be hungry when we arrive too late and there will be meltdown in the car. I pick what I think will be the ideal time and place. Having read a great post on tyre safety this week, I dutifully check the tread on the tires and contemplate looking at the oil level and windscreen wash but my enthusiasm is waning now as its raining, instead I check I have the breakdown cover details! Finally we are ready and the kids are strapped in, Mr Pudding has loaded a playlist on the stereo and we are away. 2 minutes later it begins ‘Are we there yet….’ Like I said ‘holidays’ same shit different place!

div align=”center”>Domesticated Momster
Fancy a coffee friday
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

The Great Car Journey

 

It all started like any other car  journey from my parents back home. I gathered the various items that had been scattered to the 4 corners of the house. I then stuffed them into our suitcases before attempting to play Tetris with various items in the boot. I don’t know why I I insist on bringing the pram wheels.  We never use them but I like to be prepared. So having finally stuffed everything in I begin the task of wrestling Pie into his shoes and persuading him that yes he will need a wee before he gets in the car.

Meanwhile Nana is changing Pudding and attempting to feed her some milk. Nappy change went well, getting milk in her, not so good. Pudding is one of those babies who eats only when she wants too and all of natures elements are in line. The sausage dogs have yet another toilet run. My dad mentions something about my boy sausage but I figure it’s probably nothing and finally I load two children and two dogs into the car. Phew what a mission, but least now they are all confined it shouldn’t be too bad right?

Sausage Dog

Oh had I known then what I know now…. We set off and I tell Pie we will need to stop for petrol, and he immediately starts listing all the things he wants from the garage. We stop and fill up, I notice as I am paying they have one of those traffic board things and its flagging up problems on the M25. I moan to the chap at the desk, he laughs and says we usually just leave that one up as there is always some problem! At this point I think; it’s all right for you mate you haven’t got the equivalent of an H bomb sitting in your car….

I climb back in, surprisingly all is quiet and Pie takes it quite well that I have not brought sweets. Quick check on Google maps shows the M25 is at standstill. Damn, work out new route to join the motorway a bit further up, battery on phone really low but I reckon it will last, off we go….

The first part of the journey is a doddle, all kids and dogs have a snooze and I sing along quite happily to the radio, admiring some of the beautiful towns near where my parents live. As we join the motorway I am feeling quite smug all the cars are moving quite well, my plan has worked. Well it has for 3 minutes and then we found the traffic. An hour later Pie woke up and we were still sat on the motorway. I handed him a sponge finger and we talked about the aeroplanes that kept flying over our heads. It was at this point Pie said ‘never mind the sick Spotty Dog, I have some on my trousers too it’s ok’ to which I said ‘what sick mate?’ Well it transpired that the boy sausage had been sick on his bed.

When the traffic stopped again I turned round to see two huge piles of sick on the dog bed and my boy sausage looking very sorry for himself. My girl sausage was disgusted with him and she had got down and was lying in Pies footwell. Pie just shrugged and said never mind Mummy, I couldn’t believe he was taking it so well!

It was 5 minutes later when Pie started laughing like a mad person that things really went down hill. There was a slight squelchy bottom noise from the back, followed by ‘Mummy, Toby is having a poo’. Good lord that wasn’t a poo, that was explosive dog diarrhoea, all over the back of the car! I can’t even describe to you the smell, but suffice to say in a hot car it was pretty awful! Pie and I looked at the stand still traffic and we just laughed and laughed, what else could we do?

I have to say an hour and half later we were not laughing quite so hard. Pudding had woke for a feed and was screaming her lungs out, the air in the car can only be described as chewy. Finally we turned off the motorway and into the service station. The clean up operation was a nightmare. Pie was a star, he stood outside the car for 20 mins while I removed the dogs and tied them to a tree, threw their bed in a bin and wiped the whole back seat down with a baby wipe. (Honestly I haven’t found anything that a pack of baby wipes can’t clean).

Once the dogs were loaded back into the car, we went to grab a MacDonalds, because at times like this the only thing you can do is eat. Unfortunately we had to go back and eat this in the car, which was still pretty grim but we couldn’t leave the dogs in the car on their own. Once everyone was fed and watered we got back on the road and finally got home after 6 hours of travelling, luckily with no further disasters!

This trip has taught me a valuable lesson, when Grandad says ‘your dogs got a bit of an upset tummy’, you should listen to him and take travelling precautions. Suffice to say the car has had to be valeted today.

Photo Credit: MAIDMENT via Compfight cc

Pink Pear Bear

Pink Pear Bear