Last week symbolised the end of my nursing career (for now). On Friday I packed up my uniforms and laptop and walked away from 10 years of hard work and commitment. It was tough – it felt very strange walking out of the doors of the hospital and realising that I would not be back again. But it also felt liberating. All the stress, anxiety and worry that comes with being a ward manger just floated away. Suddenly the lives of patients and staff members was nothing to do with me. No more impossible targets, no more trying to cut costs whilst maintaining safety or trying to beg overworked nurses to please cover one more shift.
This last year has opened my eyes to the realities facing the NHS. As a nurse working directly with patients you don’t always understand why management makes the decisions it does. You believe that we are all working towards a unified goal of better patient care and services. And we are but the reality of the situation is that everything costs more than you think it should, and there are such finite resources that you can’t always have everything you need to get the job done. As a manager it can be somewhat soul destroying. On the one hand you have nurses and in my case parents demanding a higher standard of care, better nursing ratios and facilities; on the other senior management are asking for more cost.
Am I sad to leave behind the greatest challenge I have faced so far in my career? Yes and no. But having secured a fantastic opportunity in the private sector I could no longer justify the daily stress my job brought into my home life. Am I worried that I have sold my soul? Nope – the time has come to look after me and my own for while and if that comes with a rather large pay rise and some extra perks then all the better. Don’t get me wrong this new job is gonna be tough and there is loads to learn, but it’s exciting and I am looking forward to trying something totally different. Do I believe I can do it? You bet your ass I do!
So why am I telling you all about this? Well I am kind of hoping that I might get a bit more time now to get back to blogging. It’s been a while right? I know, I know, all those goals for a new blog that I set myself just fell apart. To be honest life just took over – well actually work took over. Why I thought I was going to juggle 2 kids, a full time 24/7 job and a blog is beyond me. Still here I am having another go so bear with me 🙂.
On the to achieve list is still my couch to 5k, currently I have the couch part down to a fine art. This was certainly the case when I had to do the skinny-Jean-wiggle this morning and actually ripped the bum of my jeans 😱. Whilst I have visited a lot of the amazing restaurants in Birmingham now, I have been very lax on the reviews so I am hoping to get some of those completed too. And the rest of the blog? Well I guess that will be the random musings of a ‘Just-about-Millenial’