Gifts: That only a DAD would buy!

My lovely other half Mr Pud is a pretty damn good Dad, he can survive 13 hours with the kids whilst I work, even managing to keep up with the washing, shopping and making me dinner. What a good egg I hear you cheer! Well yes you are right he is 😊 However, this intelligent, sexy super Dad (he paid me to say that) has a major failing… His ability to buy an inappropriate gift is PHENOMENAL! He always buys presents with the best intentions, wanting to give the kids the things they want – it’s a shame that he doesn’t use his noggin when deciding to buy them! Age appropriate means very little to Mr Pud and this usually ends in potentially dangerous weapons being wielded in the house and me having to make up ridiculous rules like ‘no light sabers in Mummy’s bedroom’ and ‘you do not poke your sister with a wand’ – who knows what our neighbours must think as I scream these ridiculous rules out at various points during the day!

Dad present - Harry Potter Wand
The worlds most dangerous Dad present ever!

I have to say the winning inappropriate present does have to be the replica Harry Potter wand – it even said on the box this is not a toy! But Pie can’t read and Mr Pud doesn’t care, I knew this bloody wand would be a mistake!! It’s around 9 inches long, made of porcelain and has a metal rod running through it (I know this because bits of the porcelain have fallen off) does this sound like the sort of thing you would want to arm a 3 year old with?!?! Pie LOVES this wand, it has to go everywhere, to begin with he even slept with it! Watching Harry Potter on TV now requires him to jump off the sofa pointing said wand and shouting out various spells. If I have to sit and watch it too I have to add more wand rules in ‘don’t point that wand in my face’, ‘take that wand out of your nose’, ‘do not pick your sisters nose with the wand’ and on and on. I HATE that wand, and would gladly throw it in the bin or stick it up Mr Pud’s nose…

Bed filled with wands, light sabers and books
How does he sleep in this bed filled with dangerous items?!

Inappropriate gift number 2 is the ginormous light saber purchased while I was at work a few weeks ago! A friend of mine had brought him a play light saber and Pie had unfortunately broken it attacking the sofa (this should give you some idea as to why I hadn’t rushed out to replace it!) However; Dad in his infinite wisdom, went and brought not only a replacement but an upgraded, supercharged replacement. I tell you this thing is bloody huge! It makes crazy noises and has a mini light sabre that comes off the end (this tells you how huge this thing is). It really is more of a weapon than a toy – I have had to ban it in my bedroom in the mornings! Pudding just looks on in horror as this enormous, noisy red piece of plastic swoops past only millimetres from her nose…

The worlds largest and most dangerous light saber
The worlds largest and most dangerous light saber

There have been other gifts over the years, but these two are the current ones destroying my house, my patience and my sanity! Pie once hooked on to something is like a dog with a bone, it’s Harry Potter and Star Wars from morning until night at Pudding HQ. If it doesn’t involve a sword or a wand then apparently it’s just not fun… Even crafts aren’t safe as pencils, pens, glue etc can all be weaponised! I blame Mr Pud and his inappropriate, only a Dad would buy, gifts…

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Rhyming with Wine

Wanted: Granny! – Mum is the Word

Mum & PuddingI love it when Mum comes to stay, even for a couple of days, it lifts the whole mood in the house. I am calm and relaxed, I don’t feel the pressure of trying to get the kids dressed, fed, and washed, because she is beside me. We laugh and joke, and it makes all those daily chores feel less, well chore like. Because she is my Mum she just seems to inherently know what needs to be done or how something needs to be done and she just cracks on with it, no fuss. I enjoy cooking for her while she is here, because after all these years its nice to be able to give something back, I don’t want her to feel like she comes here and is a slave for me! But having her here certainly makes my life a bit easier and just her jolly attitude helps to lift me up and carry me along, when she goes I feel so flat. Tonights’ bath time was lovely with the kids, we sang and splashed, everyone was happy, but I felt a slight ache because I had had to say goodbye to my Mum a few hours earlier and she won’t be back for a few weeks again now.

Mum & Kids

I never considered what it would be like to bring up my children so far from my own Mum, but had I known when we had the made the decision to move across the country, what I know now I think I don’t know if I would do it again. I love my house, my husband and my life in Birmingham but I miss my family who live around 3 hours away (if we get a good run!) I am super lucky to have such supportive and lovely in laws, but even they live over an hour away. I wish we had some one closer, someone who I could pop in to with the kids for a coffee or who I could even leave the kids with just for an hour whilst I run an errand or do the food shop. I miss being able to just drop in some where, almost unannounced and have a pick me up pep talk when being a Mum gets tough. They are all the things my Mum would provide if she wasn’t so far away. I don’t want her to do endless hours of childcare or even to sit in our house whilst my other half and I enjoy a child free meal (although I wouldn’t say no to that occasionally!)

What I really need is an adoptive-grandparent, one who lives near to me, who maybe doesn’t have grandchildren of their own. Maybe they have family that live far away and they also crave the kind of companionship that is so lacking for me! Do you think you can put an advert into the local papers? You know a bit like the lonely hearts column, how would it read?

Wanted Stamp
OpenClipartVectors / Pixabay
Wanted Granny: Young(ish) Mum looking for a friendly adoptive Granny. Not too old, must love cats, biscuits and tea. Needs to enjoy the company of small children. Would prefer if they had a dog and a garden. Quite happy to take them out to places for lunch and coffee every week, in return for a listening ear and a few kind words. If you are interested in this post and live in the West Midlands please contact me…

 

Sounds mad doesn’t it? Obviously you can’t just adopt a Granny, but if we could, I definitely would. We could do with an adoptive Grandad too for that matter, one who could mow the lawn, or do a few odd jobs, nothing fancy just things that most people would ask their Dad to do for them!  Sometimes I need that cup of tea with a side order of wisdom that can only come from the older generation…

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Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

I left my Heart…

So here we are sat in 1st class en route from Birmingham back to the Mother Lands (Aka London) for our first grown up weekend since the Pudding arrived.


Some mixed emotions as we leave both kids where their more than capable but slightly crazy grandparents. I have made lists, organised food, shown them how to make milk and work the pram – in all honesty it felt a bit like leaving the dogs at kennels – ‘yes 6 scoops for 6 ounces…’ Luckily they are used to my control freak nature and humour me by listening intently and nodding along, giving only the occasional dig that they have actually raised two children themselves. Of course they know babies, but they don’t necessarily know my baby, all her quirks and peculiarities, her preferences and cues. But then does it matter? Do they have to do exactly what Mummy does? No, they don’t, as long as she sleeps and eats and is reasonably content then that’s fine. I mean it’s not like I want them to upstage me!

I am not worried that the kids won’t survive one night without me, I can’t quite put my finger on what gives me that little knot in my stomach. My rational brain is screaming just relax woman, you have two days of quiet, hot meals and a lie in. Two days of uninterrupted adult time with your amazing husband who has planned and executed this trip with laser precision. (He is already looking at pictures of the kids…) When did we become these people? 5 years ago we would have been on this train, prosecco in hand and not a care in the world!

I know it will be fantastic when we get there and that all our old haunts will soon bring back those fabulous memories of being young and childless – but in the back of my mind I know that I will have left a piece of my heart in Birmingham, even if it is just for one night.

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Massuese Mousse

Hey! Baby massage rocked my world this week, it was amazing. Just me and mummy in a room full of other babies (I was the oldest for a change!) getting up close and personal. I had a little trial of this when we went to the fabulous Bluestone and cos I enjoyed it so much Mummy kindly booked me in for a few sessions when we got home. I think Mum was a bit nervous when we first got their as she didn’t know anyone but I helped her out by smiling and talking to everyone. Of course they all commented about my amazing hairdo – I call this weeks style troll-esk ( mum is threatening hair clips🙈).

Blue haired troll - looks like Pudding We did leg massage this week, which took Mum ages because as she said their is a sizeable amount of thigh there. I think she was insinuating that I am slightly rotund, I quickly reminded her that I have the body of a goddess (So what if Buddha was a guy). My Nana says I am cute and look like a cabbage patch baby, not entirely sure what this is but Nana would never be mean about me. Apparently it’s arms next week, this could be tricky as I can’t seem to take my fist out of my mouth for more than 10 seconds, unless Mum is spooning in some parsnip…

Pie and I have been taking it in turns to scream this week, we figured Mum would rather we did that than scream simultaneously. However; this just seems to make her less sympathetic to both of us so we have gone back to the original plan that Pie screams in the morning constantly and I get to scream from tea time until bedtime. Mum doesn’t particularly like this either but at least she gets a break at lunchtime….

Due to continuing issues Pudding HQ has had  to take to its feet this week, great news for me as Mum usually pops me in the ergo. It really is the best place for a Pudding to be! All those extra snuggles and getting to talk to Mum all the time has meant I am turning into a right Mummy’s girl, especially as she treated me to a new Sophie this week. Sophie 2 and extra Mummy love have been needed this as these teeth are really starting to bother me – luckily Mum has finally agreed that they are a problem. Well done mother it’s only taken you 4 weeks 😡, some people just never listen!

I will let you know how we get on with the arms. I have to go now because it’s my turn to scream like a banshee…

Broccoli Is Never In Style – Taylor Swift

Broccoli Tree
B3R3N1C3 / Pixabay
So Pie hates broccoli, even when we try and pretend they are mini trees he just will not even entertain the idea (I have to say I am totally with him but tell Mr P) so in tribute to my boy I have taken one of his favourite songs and attempted a broccoli themed parody! Enjoy Broccoli: Never In Style,  to Taylor Swifts’ ‘Style’:

 

Teatime, You ask me to wash my hands before I eat mine.

It looks fine, but this could end in tears or paradise

This could be new, oh, it’s been a while since I have even tasted you (tasted you)

I am begging you please’cause you

Know exactly where it leads but

We have to go ’round and ’round each time

Give me my baked beans, ice cream and things that I like

Not those green stalked broccoli trees that are vile

And when I go into meltdown, every lunch and tea time

‘Cause broccoli is to vile

I’ll never eat it with a smile.

Very sulky faced little girl
PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay

Its got that long stalk, greenness, and tastes like dirt

Don’t put it near my face or I will spit it on your skirt

And when I go into meltdown, every lunch and teatime

‘Cause broccoli is to vile

I’ll never eat it with a smile

He we go…

You can’t make me eat that, it smells like a toad!

I start to groan

Gloves are off, do you have to gloat?

You say, “I heard, oh, that you’ve been following new rules, eating this at school.”

I say, “What you’ve heard is true but I

I am not eating this for you,” and I…

You say, “We’ve been here, too, a few times.”

Delicious looking ice cream
Unsplash / Pixabay

Give me my baked beans, ice cream and things that I like

Not those green stalked broccoli trees that are vile

And when I go into meltdown, every lunch and tea time

‘Cause broccoli is to vile

I’ll never eat it with a smile.

Its got that long stalk, greenness, and tastes like dirt

Don’t put it near my face or I will spit it on your skirt

And when I go into meltdown, every lunch and teatime

‘Cause broccoli is to vile

I’ll never eat it with a smile

 


The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

Monday, Monday

Screaming Seagull Face
It would appear that Pudding & Pie didn’t get the memo about today being a bank holiday. In fact I would go so far as to say they got the memo, ripped it into tiny pieces and then promptly ate it. I do kinda blame our neighbour who slammed the door so hard at 6.30am that it rattled through every house in the row. I guess they figured that as they had to be up for work on the bank holiday then the rest of us should suffer too, after all misery loves company right? If that is the case I  am quite tempted to go over and ring their door bell at 5am every morning until the end of time, But I digress…

So Pudding HQ is awake, even Mr Pudding couldn’t sleep through the noise this morning! Before leaping out of bed to deal with the situations in the room next door we take 2 minutes to hold conversation, uninterrupted:

Mr P: ‘Morning’

Me: ‘Clearly..’

(Snuggle in for a quick cuddle, making sure no one gets a mouthful of morning breath)

*Noise Level Rising*

(Sounds of Pie swipping a ‘wand’ through the air shouting ‘expelliarmus’, this later turns out to be an orange felt tip with no lid….)

Me: ‘We need a plan for today…’

Mr P: ‘I thought we could wander to the pub, have a few ciders, maybe play some pool….’

Me: ‘Oh that sounds great, we could grab some lunch, sit in the garden. Oooh and I quite fancy a game of darts’

*Noise starting to reach crescendo*

Me: Are you making coffee or dealing with wee?


Mr P: I will make coffee….

Me: Good choice, nobody would ever choose wee…

(Lay still for a minute listening to noise)

Me: Remember that pub in Whitechapel with the beer garden?

Mr P: The one where The Krays shot Jack the Hat?

Me: Ha ha Jack the Hat, only in the East End would somebody be called Jack the Hat! What was that pub called?

Mr P: The Blind Beggar – we had our first kiss there…


*wistful glances*

(Noise reaches defcon 4… With accompanying air raid siren howl)

Me: I miss London


*collective sigh*

The day has begun, two tired and slightly disgruntled parents slide out of bed…

Hope everyone enjoys their bank holiday!!

Pink Pear Bear
My Petit Canard
Rhyming with Wine

Cowardly Custard Creams: Unacceptable

Most of you will know that I am new to the blogging world and thus far I have been very lucky to receive nothing but pleasant and encouraging comments. In fact I am so naive that I hadn’t even heard of trolling. Of course I knew there were some lonely nasty people in the world who like nothing more than to belittle or denigrate other people’s feelings. I didn’t expect to find them taking the time to comment on other peoples blog posts. One thing I have learnt in the last few weeks is that it takes enormous courage to write about yourself and your family.  To share opinions and circumstances that might not be to everyone’s’ taste. I never feel concerned sharing a funny post, but those where I lay my heart open leave me at risk of being hurt by these awful people.

Large custard cream

I was first alerted to ‘trolling’ by a fellow Mummy who congratulated me on my review of the Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep. She asked if I had received any negative comments. I was surprised until I read her perfectly innocuous review and the follow-up comments. One lady was belligerent, she just kept coming back, throwing comment after comment at this poor blogger. Telling her she was endangering her child and that she was basically a terrible mother! WTF I thought. How can this awful woman be so vehement over something that in all honesty has nothing to do with her? Would she be this rude to this Mum’s face if she met her? I doubt it very much. But the internet and social media has provided a platform for this type of abuse. Whilst I love social media and blogging, I can’t stand the fact that people can hide behind their computer and spit bile at people with no recourse for their actions. When did it become acceptable to speak to people with such disrespect and anger?

I then found myself climbing on my moral pedestal again a few days later. A lovely blogger linked up to #PuddingLove with a post describing how someone she had considered a friend begun to abuse her over the internet. This lovely mum had merely commented her opinion of immunisations and that sparked a huge backlash from the non-vaccinator corner. Calling her an awful mum, saying she had caused her sons autism and generally horrible remarks. One even stated she should ‘get off the planet’. I could feel myself start to rage for this Mum. How dare anyone say such terrible things. As mothers we carry round enough guilt as it is without being cyber-judged by other people. Are people so passionate about the things that they believe in that they have forgotten how to treat other people? What happened to a moderate society and free speech? Everyone is living in fear of terrorists and fundamentalists, yet I can see everyday people so wrapped up in their own beliefs that they can’t see another’s point of view. They just plain forget how to be kind to each other. The point of free speech is that everyone has the right to talk and be heard without being squashed and silenced by others.

My last case in point was when a fellow blogger explained that she was upset that one of her followers was complaining about how many times she shared her blog links on twitter. OK not a big deal, quick apology and an explanation should suffice yes? No, this other twitter user had to make a big deal out of it. Making this blogger feel like they were grabby and attention seeking when in all honesty they were just doing what we all do and that is advertising their latest post. In most twitter feeds a tweet only has a short life span because everyone has loads of followers. Don’t we all get annoyed about things? But is it society these days that we just have to say we are annoyed? Can’t we just turn a blind eye?  Learn to accept the things that cannot be changed or in all honesty don’t matter? Why have we become a society where we feel its acceptable to be rude and unappreciative of another persons hard work. I can’t imagine my parents or grandparents behaving like this. Not just because they didn’t have the technology but because they knew that it is fundamentally wrong to be mean to someone just for the sake of being mean.

We have to teach our children about living in a world that is over run with social media and communication apps. A world where everything can be shared in seconds and that once it is out there it is there forever. Just because you can’t see that persons face or you don’t know them in the flesh doesn’t give you the right to be unkind or unfair. If you don’t like what someones written, you don’t have to be compelled to comment or join in the debate in a malicious way. I am not saying don’t have an opinion, but going back to that early teaching from your own mother. ‘If you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all’. Criticism can be helpful, lively debate is fun, but meanness for the sake of it is unnecessary and just makes you a coward. If you wouldn’t say it to someones face then don’t write it down. Just because it’s in text form it doesn’t make it ok.

 

 

Photo Credit: Leo Reynolds via Compfight cc

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Still not a Swiss Roll, But I have Big Love for Pie

Pudding & Pie having a cuddle
Hey Pudding Fans,

See what I did there? I got a little sports reference in, Dad would be proud. Speaking of Dad he made me sit and watch the FA cup semi-final on Saturday, apparently he was supposed to be giving me my bed time bottle but it wasn’t very relaxing! He kept jumping out of the chair and making me almost wet myself with his over-enthusiastic shouting. Mummy just tutted at him, it’s ok for her she wasn’t the one who nearly drowned on several occasions. I am only 4 months but I already have an inkling that I won’t be a huge football fan…

What I am a fan of though (other than parsnip) is my big brother Pie, he is awesome 😆, he is probably the only one who understands what it is like living in this mad house with these ridiculous dogs. He is getting pretty good at communicating my needs to mother, although I do get a little indignant when he tells me I am a ‘grumpy poo pants with grumpy bits!’ I mean how is a girl supposed to react to such a statement? I have managed to accept this crazy Harry Potter phase and we now regularly curl up together while he watches it, still not a great lover of wands though. Probably because there is always that fear that I might lose an eye (a fear shared by mother dearest).

I think this week Mum may have lost her mind slightly as she brought this crazy thing downstairs and hung it in a door frame then put me in it! There I was suspended, barely touching the floor. I did a few little bounces and she thought that was great but then Toby (that giraffe stealing sausage) licked my face so I clouted him on the nose (that was revenge for Sophie). Pie decided that what I needed was for him to bounce me which ended up in me getting cross and vomiting on the carpet in a moment of protest, suffice to say I don’t think Mum will be trying that out again anytime soon!

I would like to say that I had an update regarding the rolling – but as of yet I have not been able to work the magic. The elusive rolling, remains a mystery to me. Pie has been ‘helping’ but again not a great ending (more sick more  cross Pudding). Mum says I will get there – but when, it’s just so frustrating, there are so many naughty things I could be getting up to if I could just move. Saying that I am hoping to really catch her off guard and roll off her bed one morning while she is putting her knickers on…

Anyway enough rambling from me – mum says its parsnip for tea and as you know this girl loves a bit of parsnip!

Love Pudding xx

Petite Pudding
Cuddle Fairy

Lost: Me

I am supposed to be finishing my post for one of my favourite linkys’ #ChuckleMums, but I don’t feel much like chuckling this morning. I have been fighting the invisible hand of postnatal depression all weekend again. It’s always there, some days are better and I don’t contemplate legging it from the house with just my car keys for company. But this weekend it’s just sat there like an impenetrable fog. Not helped by being full of cold, which is miserable even at the best of times. I have stuck a brave face on it and carried on with the usual mundane housework, laundry and meeting all of the children’s needs, an outsider would probably not even notice there is anything wrong. But I can feel it bubbling inside me, quietly simmering beneath the surface ready to explode about something (most likely trivial) how it will manifest itself  will depend on who opens the box! If it’s Pie it usually comes out as rage but if it’s my mum or a friend it’s likely to be a flood of tears and a torrent of unintelligible words.Mummy cuddling newborn Pudding

I am hoping that this week might be the start of getting to grips with my feelings after Puddings birth. I have an appointment with Acacia who are a postnatal depression charity that run all sorts of helpful sessions. Looking forward to talking to someone and feeling able to be honest without being judged for not enjoying the kids.  Because it’s not about that, I love them both dearly, I just don’t feel like me anymore. Most days I feel as if I am living through Groundhog Day, I know that raising small children can be quite repetitive and that this is just a fact of life when you are a mother, but it’s definitely a fact I need some help to accept. I don’t know what the sessions at Acacia will be like, that makes me anxious but I hope that they will start to untie this guilty knot that’s still inside me. Things are better than they were a few weeks ago but I don’t think I am quite there yet…

As for the for the #chucklemums post? This is Pudding HQ something is bound to happen before lunchtime that will be worthy of featuring in a funny linky!

Love Pudding’s Mum

Pink Pear Bear
My Random Musings

Blogging: 1 Month In

Holiday Pudding in Snowsuit
We celebrated our first month blogging this last week and I have to say it’s been great. I started Petite Pudding when I felt myself disappearing down into the postnatal depression plug hole. I had always found writing as an outlet and the idea of blogging my journey and providing useful information to other mums seemed like a perfect remedy. I have discovered a fantastic network of mums out there all bringing their own style to the blogging world. To have hit 800 Twitter followers in just a few weeks seems amazing to me, I didn’t even know how to tweet 5 weeks ago!

I love taking part in the link-ups, accessing all those great posts, particularly #KCACOLS (always get such wonderful comments) hosted by @withfranca and the new #chucklemums hosted by @whingewine @mumzilla always gets me to giggle. Being featured post on the #BigPinkLink was a real high point, thank you @pinkpearbear and @thismumslife. You guys made my week! The MADs are shortlisted this week and I was so grateful to be nominated, even though the blog is ineligible this year, it still felt great. I still can’t believe how helpful and friendly the blogging world is and I owe a big thanks to @cuddlefairy @parentingjungle @mummyinatutu and @animperfectmum who have really helped me with my blogging education in these first few weeks, those #tribalchat evenings have been a great place to learn 😊.

I never really knew how addictive blogging could be and I find myself checking stats all the time, tweeting and commenting or planning blog posts. I could easily become totally obsessed and forget about the children, luckily Mr Pudding keeps my head in the parenting game. I never thought I would love getting to grips with the coding side, but it totally appeals to my analytical side!

I made a huge decision this week to move my site from Weebly to WordPress, it’s not been an easy transition and trying to get people redirected to the new site is an ongoing issue. Hopefully this will move be the right decision for the future, but for now I am just enjoying my new found blogging passion!

Fancy a coffee friday